Jeanetta Duncan
English 100
Mr.Sabatino
10/8/17
Breaking The Barriers
It was mid-September I had just got off from work when I received a text message. It said we need to talk, at this very moment the whole world just pause for a brief moment. My heart started to beat at a irregular pace, my hands felt cold and clammy , I felt very weak and a little nauseous, and to top it all off I felt very empty. As I leave work to catch the bus to go over his house I like to admire the view. The sun was shinning over top of the building, fall leaves surrounding me as I make my way up the hill, I see people walking by the light gentle breeze blowing in my face as I walk. Dead tree branches slightly swaying back and fourth from the breeze. As I make my way up the hill I see cars zooming back and fourth. The smell of coffee in the air due to the Starbucks. I always loved the smell of coffee in the air it always gives me a warm feeling.
My bus finally came and soon as I board the bus and took my seat I put my ear buds in. Listening to music always calms me down in a situation like this. The way that I was feeling earlier I knew it my gut that that text message was a break-up message, I try to brush it off because I wanted to end this relationship anyway. I got really tired of being put on the back burner, so it was time for me to give him a piece of my mind.So I finally arrive at his front door, the house had a green fence surrounding the front yard. As i opened the gate i turn around and close it. I see a black bench on the right hand side, and on the left hand side there is a small spot of grass with mediuem sized stones sitting perfectly at the bottom of the lawn. In front of me there is a cobble stone walk-way to the screen door.
I started to make my way to the black screen door that supported a gold door knob. The knob was so shiny i can see my face as im standing in front of it. I reach my hand out, but i quickly retracted back as i saw the knob begin to turn. He opend the door i saw the look on his face it didn't look pleasant. His facial expression looked as if he felt guilty, drainned, nervous, confused all in one. As I step inside his house i sat my bag in one of the salon chairs and he close the door behind him. I sat down in one of the salon chairs leaned all the way back, placed my hands on top of my belly and folded my hands an closed my eyes. At this point i was only paying attention to me and my surroundings. The room got realy quiet, there are flower pattern salon chairs there are four of them. Then there is a champagne colored glass table on the other side of the room, littered with fishing rods and fold up chairs on top of it.
Then there is this bookshelf with slidable glass doors it was white. the books was on the top lined up neatly, and the VCR movies was on the bottom and the TV was in the middle the tv is pretty small but a decent size for a little kid, but they never use that tv. Then i came out of my trance i opened my eyes, then my attention went to the window acrossed the room. I seen people walking by, cars zooming back and fourth and i can also see the whole front lawn through the window as well. As i'm still laying in the chair i hear a sigh, completely forgot he was still in the room. He was leaning up against the wall with his hands shoved in his pockets with his head down. I looked up at him trying to figuer out his body language.
I really was emotinaliy drained from this relationship i felt anger, saddness, and lost all at once. It the emotions hit me like a hurricane. It felt like i was standing in a blank room with with all my emotions looking at me. I thought this would be easy telling him how i felt about this relationship. When i tried to break it off with him the first time he kept making up excuses and me being a dummy that was just his way to butter me up to get me to forgive and give him another chance. I forgive but never forget i don't hold grugdes against anyone. At the end of the day we are all human we have flaws that make us unique.
He finally lifted his head up and i look up at him again. He opened his mouth but then he closed it as if he was still thinking about what he wanted to say or how to say it, he opened his mouth again took a deep breath and said
"I see that you got yourself together"
I said "I been got myself together" in a calm but stern voice I said "why did you bring me here?"
He said "I wanted to talk to you about us thats why i brought you here"
I paused and took a deep breath and i said "Say what you have to say first"
He Said "I finally realized that im your biggest obstacle i've been in your way for awhile blocking your succes"
I cut him off in mid-sentance and said "you never was the obstacle your actions and how you treated me is the ostacle i gave you nothing but respect and you continue to be-little me and make me look like i was the bad guy"
He said "I know what i did was wrong and i deeply aplogize for it i know i can't take back what i did to you but just find it in your heart to forgive me"
I said "I do i really have a choice? i don't hold grudges i am going to forgive you but i'm not going to forget what you done to me"
He nodded his head in approval then i said "you do know once we become friends we can't kiss and do the stuff like normal couples do right?"
He said "i understand"
Atfter that whole convo we just sat quietly didn't say a word to each other. The room felt very uncomfortable quiet i hated this type of silence. It's that silence that always kills the mood, so i walked out of the room he came up behind me and grabbed my hand and we locked eyes, the look in his eyes looks as if he doesnt want me to leave, like he wants me to stay with him after i told him i wanted to end this relationship. His lack of affection and intrest is what made the relationship die and eventually my love for him died as well. I stopped caring a long time ago i'll be fine without hm just like i never meant anything to him he doesn't mean jack-shit to me he can go kick rocks for all i care.
This relationship taught me a lot about certain men. Just because he seems like he can be presentable kind-hearted and charming. He can change up on you without even knowing it he'll make you feel like everything you did rght is wrong in his eyes. he'll start to accuse you of things that you didn't do, start taking his past relationship out on you, if you see these signs in a man i'd advise you to leave him. I refuse to be with a man who wants to control what i wear and worry about where i be. I learned to build up the confidence to leave him and to love myself. The more you love yourself and start looking forward to my future. When i started school i was so happy to focous on my education i didn't even bother to talk to him, once i started working and going to school and got my drivers permit he was non existance to me.
I'd rather work hard then stress over a man who doesnt even have his stuff together and his mind straight. I still cherish the good memories we had together but it seem like on my end im always stuck remembering the bad ones. Because of all the hate and hurt that i have in my heart its starting to turn me into a bitter cold person i need to learn how to love myself. He needs to do a lot of thinking before he ever thinks about hopping into another relationship. i need to do alot of thinking for myself and what i want to do. Who knows maybe later in life ill run into somebody who will treat me better then he did, but im not rushing it im to focused on school and work to let this even bother me i made it this far it wouldnt make much sence to give up now. just learn a valuable lesson from this relationship ending. Always know your own worth before another man/women be-little you and make a fool out you, tell them how it makes you feel and make them feel guilty about their actions some of them will feel bad about how they treated you others just simply dont.
English 100
Mr.Sabatino
10/8/17
Breaking The Barriers
It was mid-September I had just got off from work when I received a text message. It said we need to talk, at this very moment the whole world just pause for a brief moment. My heart started to beat at a irregular pace, my hands felt cold and clammy , I felt very weak and a little nauseous, and to top it all off I felt very empty. As I leave work to catch the bus to go over his house I like to admire the view. The sun was shinning over top of the building, fall leaves surrounding me as I make my way up the hill, I see people walking by the light gentle breeze blowing in my face as I walk. Dead tree branches slightly swaying back and fourth from the breeze. As I make my way up the hill I see cars zooming back and fourth. The smell of coffee in the air due to the Starbucks. I always loved the smell of coffee in the air it always gives me a warm feeling.
My bus finally came and soon as I board the bus and took my seat I put my ear buds in. Listening to music always calms me down in a situation like this. The way that I was feeling earlier I knew it my gut that that text message was a break-up message, I try to brush it off because I wanted to end this relationship anyway. I got really tired of being put on the back burner, so it was time for me to give him a piece of my mind.So I finally arrive at his front door, the house had a green fence surrounding the front yard. As i opened the gate i turn around and close it. I see a black bench on the right hand side, and on the left hand side there is a small spot of grass with mediuem sized stones sitting perfectly at the bottom of the lawn. In front of me there is a cobble stone walk-way to the screen door.
I started to make my way to the black screen door that supported a gold door knob. The knob was so shiny i can see my face as im standing in front of it. I reach my hand out, but i quickly retracted back as i saw the knob begin to turn. He opend the door i saw the look on his face it didn't look pleasant. His facial expression looked as if he felt guilty, drainned, nervous, confused all in one. As I step inside his house i sat my bag in one of the salon chairs and he close the door behind him. I sat down in one of the salon chairs leaned all the way back, placed my hands on top of my belly and folded my hands an closed my eyes. At this point i was only paying attention to me and my surroundings. The room got realy quiet, there are flower pattern salon chairs there are four of them. Then there is a champagne colored glass table on the other side of the room, littered with fishing rods and fold up chairs on top of it.
Then there is this bookshelf with slidable glass doors it was white. the books was on the top lined up neatly, and the VCR movies was on the bottom and the TV was in the middle the tv is pretty small but a decent size for a little kid, but they never use that tv. Then i came out of my trance i opened my eyes, then my attention went to the window acrossed the room. I seen people walking by, cars zooming back and fourth and i can also see the whole front lawn through the window as well. As i'm still laying in the chair i hear a sigh, completely forgot he was still in the room. He was leaning up against the wall with his hands shoved in his pockets with his head down. I looked up at him trying to figuer out his body language.
I really was emotinaliy drained from this relationship i felt anger, saddness, and lost all at once. It the emotions hit me like a hurricane. It felt like i was standing in a blank room with with all my emotions looking at me. I thought this would be easy telling him how i felt about this relationship. When i tried to break it off with him the first time he kept making up excuses and me being a dummy that was just his way to butter me up to get me to forgive and give him another chance. I forgive but never forget i don't hold grugdes against anyone. At the end of the day we are all human we have flaws that make us unique.
He finally lifted his head up and i look up at him again. He opened his mouth but then he closed it as if he was still thinking about what he wanted to say or how to say it, he opened his mouth again took a deep breath and said
"I see that you got yourself together"
I said "I been got myself together" in a calm but stern voice I said "why did you bring me here?"
He said "I wanted to talk to you about us thats why i brought you here"
I paused and took a deep breath and i said "Say what you have to say first"
He Said "I finally realized that im your biggest obstacle i've been in your way for awhile blocking your succes"
I cut him off in mid-sentance and said "you never was the obstacle your actions and how you treated me is the ostacle i gave you nothing but respect and you continue to be-little me and make me look like i was the bad guy"
He said "I know what i did was wrong and i deeply aplogize for it i know i can't take back what i did to you but just find it in your heart to forgive me"
I said "I do i really have a choice? i don't hold grudges i am going to forgive you but i'm not going to forget what you done to me"
He nodded his head in approval then i said "you do know once we become friends we can't kiss and do the stuff like normal couples do right?"
He said "i understand"
Atfter that whole convo we just sat quietly didn't say a word to each other. The room felt very uncomfortable quiet i hated this type of silence. It's that silence that always kills the mood, so i walked out of the room he came up behind me and grabbed my hand and we locked eyes, the look in his eyes looks as if he doesnt want me to leave, like he wants me to stay with him after i told him i wanted to end this relationship. His lack of affection and intrest is what made the relationship die and eventually my love for him died as well. I stopped caring a long time ago i'll be fine without hm just like i never meant anything to him he doesn't mean jack-shit to me he can go kick rocks for all i care.
This relationship taught me a lot about certain men. Just because he seems like he can be presentable kind-hearted and charming. He can change up on you without even knowing it he'll make you feel like everything you did rght is wrong in his eyes. he'll start to accuse you of things that you didn't do, start taking his past relationship out on you, if you see these signs in a man i'd advise you to leave him. I refuse to be with a man who wants to control what i wear and worry about where i be. I learned to build up the confidence to leave him and to love myself. The more you love yourself and start looking forward to my future. When i started school i was so happy to focous on my education i didn't even bother to talk to him, once i started working and going to school and got my drivers permit he was non existance to me.
I'd rather work hard then stress over a man who doesnt even have his stuff together and his mind straight. I still cherish the good memories we had together but it seem like on my end im always stuck remembering the bad ones. Because of all the hate and hurt that i have in my heart its starting to turn me into a bitter cold person i need to learn how to love myself. He needs to do a lot of thinking before he ever thinks about hopping into another relationship. i need to do alot of thinking for myself and what i want to do. Who knows maybe later in life ill run into somebody who will treat me better then he did, but im not rushing it im to focused on school and work to let this even bother me i made it this far it wouldnt make much sence to give up now. just learn a valuable lesson from this relationship ending. Always know your own worth before another man/women be-little you and make a fool out you, tell them how it makes you feel and make them feel guilty about their actions some of them will feel bad about how they treated you others just simply dont.